Is it OK to go through your partner's stuff?
Snooping Is Toxic
Calling it "a violation of privacy and trust that often results from a belief that a partner is being less than honest and trustworthy," Coleman says that snooping is a serious no-no. Regardless of why you choose to do it, it's always a bad idea.
The answer is almost never. In some cases, for instance, following a mistrust, there may be an agreement where you are given permission to look through the phone. This could be a way to rebuild trust but is usually temporary. Looking through your partner's phone can result in consequences.
Only if you give her permission.
It's never okay for your girlfriend to go through your phone without your knowledge. If she does, she's disrespecting you and violating your privacy. Don't let this behavior slide. Talk to her about how you feel because relationships are based on trust.
Why we feel the need to snoop through a partner's phone. Sex and relationships expert Rhian Kivits says there are some common motivations for feeling tempted to snoop: You're driven by insecurity and a lack of trust, fear that you'll find something that suggests disloyalty, and feel a need to prove yourself right.
Surprisingly though, 25% of study participants who had been snooped on decided to stay in the relationship and found that the partnership got stronger because of it. The study concluded that this strengthened bond came from a heightened desire among both parties to solve trust issues.
Some behaviors of disrespect in relationships include nagging, criticism, stonewalling, lying, put downs, pressuring the other, disloyalty, and threats to end the relationship or marriage.
Going Through Your Partner's Phone Betrays Their Trust
First things first: Psychoanalyst Claudia Luiz makes it clear that going through someone's phone without their permission is a violation of their privacy. (Yes, even if you have legit reasons for being suspicious.) "Of course it is!" Luiz tells Elite Daily.
According to psychotherapist Rachel Morris, snooping is a way of avoiding confrontation or admitting to feelings of insecurity She says: “It's as though someone is saying, `I need reassurance but can't ask for it'. Most often it means that one or both partners struggle with honest, open communication.
Things you should never tolerate in a relationship include not being cared about. After all, if that's the case, then what's the point of the relationship? Essentially, insults or hurtful comments about you, your job, goals, family, or anything else just don't come from a caring and loving partner.
In simple terms, stonewalling is when someone completely shuts down in a conversation or is refusing to communicate with another person.
What should you not do in a relationship?
- Do not mind read. Communication is the backbone of any relationship. ...
- Do not make them your whole life. ...
- Do not fight to win. ...
- Do not stop putting in effort. ...
- Do not compare your partner to others. ...
- Don't get caught up in whether your partner is 'the one' ...
- Cheating.
- Come clean.
- Explain why you snooped.
- Take accountability for your action.
- Sincerely apologize.
- Determine the root cause of the problem.
- Openly communicate.
- Develop an effective action plan.
- Conclusion.
